Finding True North…
This is going to sound very strange, especially coming after a rather long-winded post about the experiences that led me to this place in life, but I am bewildered about what I stand for and what I believe. It’s not that I’ve never known – in fact, I have often known all the answers – but, in my old age (haha) I don’t know exactly where I’m headed anymore….
In class on Saturday, Dr. Johnson challenged the class to articulate for themselves their core values. By doing this, she believed that we would know “true north” or a general guiding principle in our decision making. This ran in tandem with “Leadership on the Line”. In Chapter 9, “Anchor Yourself”, the authors argue “the self relies on our capacity to witness and learn throughout our lives, to refine the core values that orient our decisions,” (pg 430). I too believe this process is essential, but my loyalty to the theory brings me no closer to knowing myself.
Before beginning to teach and go to graduate school I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I knew how long I would teach. I knew what year I would become a principal. I knew what my first moves as a superintendent would be. I had it figured out. I legitimately believed in my plan and I was certain that with a few good ideas and a healthy serving of FTK, I could do what was required to serve all students.But, on Saturday, after class discussion, I immediately scurried off to Trinity Trails to get some time alone. I realized, for the first time in years, I am unsure of my direction.
After a year and a half of teaching and going to graduate school, I am further from knowing my path than I have been in a really long time. I don’t really know what I believe is essential for a high functioning district – or a classroom for that matter. Today, I spent an entire class periods talking to my department head about how to get kids to engage in higher-level thinking. I did the same last night with my learning network specialist. I am more lost than I’ve ever been.
But I think that’s a good thing….
Now more than ever, I understand the levity of the task I hope to take on one day. I want to lead schools and that’s a big freaking deal. So I’ll be lost for a little while and uncomfortable for a long while, because I can’t stop working to figure out what is right for the kids.
I’ll be sure to post when I figure it out though!
Trevon's Blog 
Trevon,
I understand exactly what you are talking about. I started my career with a perfect plan and for the most part, everything went as planned. I met all my goals as anticipated and I changed the lives of children. The hard part that I had not factored into the equation was the educated adults determined to undermine my every attempt to improve student learning, the jealous adults just mad because they didn’t get the job, and negativity arose! You will make a change!
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I know it’s got to be both scary and liberating to be going through this moment in your career and professional development. The coolest part of this is that you can do absolutely anything! I think it’s so important that as young professionals we remain open to new ideas and points of view and remain flexible in our career path. We never know what opportunities will surface and what opportunities we thought we would want that we end up feeling compelled to pass by. I feel confident that by reading, writing, and remaining engaged with our colleagues in all aspects of education we’ll be well equipped to serve our students, no matter where we end up in the education world.
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I love that you’re lost! lol–but I don’t think you’re really that lost (not all who wander are lost–isn’t that how the saying goes?)–I wonder if you’re just confronting some ambiguities in your plan that will actually help you sharpen your determination to make a difference in the lives of children. I want to echo Lauren–I really believe that you prepare yourself diligently, and you keep your eye on what is really important to you (FTK) and doors you don’t even anticipate will open for you. And it IS a big freakin’ deal! When you’re leading, there are little kids’ lives and their futures riding on your decision-making, but that’s even more reason to really go deep and prepare, so that you’ll make good decisions for you and for them and you can be confident and sleep at night. Wandering, thinking, collaborating, preparing… I think that’s pretty advanced reflective practice for such an “old” person (ahem ahem…)
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